E. Gary Gygax - Movie Reviewer?

Rodney Hampton

- 7 minutes read - 1413 words

This article from Dragon Magazine #62 has not aged well

Oh Gary. You have no idea what you are talking about here.

“I never intended to review THE SWORD & THE SORCERER, because it was neither good enough nor bad enough to rate such attention. Compared to the Conan film. however, it is superb.” — E. Gary Gygax, Movie Reviewer

The Review

Before getting into the meat of the review, I’d like to point out that Dunken is still in business, though it has relocated to Tennessee. I have made an inquiry with the owner about his stock. I have been thinking about getting into casting for a while. Dunken stocks fantasy, dark ages, and medieval molds of sizes small and large. The Wizard’s Corner is long gone. There is one reddit thread talking about how you would roll 1d10 to get a discount, presumably from 1% - 10% not 0% - 9%. The latter range would be cruel . . . “Zero huh? No discount for you kid!”

Critique

How Gary could think The Sword and the Sorcerer was “better” than Conan the Barbarian is beyond me. Perhaps Gary was biased because the trailer for The Sword and the Sorcerer actually uses the phrase “Dungeons & Dragons” to entice kids to spend their hard earned dollars. (Listen for it at 2:35).

But let’s take Gary at his word. Here is how is review shakes out:

Conan the Barbarian

  • “The muscular Arnold Schwarzenegger made a fine Conan.” PRO
  • “The Armor was good; the weapons . . . passable.” PRO
  • “Passable” special effects. PRO
  • Conan should not have used traps / tricks to take out minions at The Battle of the Mounds. CON
  • “Pointless, excessive violence.” CON
  • “[G]ratuitous helpings of sex.” CON
  • Dino De Laurentiis’ involvement. CON
  • There is only coincidental resemblance between the cinema version of Conan and Robert E. Howard’s writing. CON

The Sword and The Sorcerer

  • “Rocket Propelled Sword”; “sophomoric, or just plain dumb, but it somehow fit into the whole production quite well.” PRO
  • “The movie’s evil magic-user is by far better than the similar role in the Conan film.” PRO
  • “The hero . . . is more like Conan than that of the Conan film.” PRO
  • Special effects pleasantly surprising. PRO
  • “[S]illy, possibly.” neither PRO nor CON?
  • Two-dimensional characters. CON
  • Acting “less than inspired.” CON

Side by side, it does seem like Gary’s points support his assessment. I personally disagree with much of what he has written. I think John Milius and Oliver Stone did exceptionally well and did try to stay true to the spirit of Robert E. Howard’s writing even if they took liberties by pulling Thulsa Doom’s name out of the Kull-era stories and moving him into Conan’s time. You can hear how much reverence Milius has for Howard in the first 12 minutes of Conan Unchained - The Making of Conan the Barbarian. As far as casting Schwarzenegger goes, Milius says, “If we didn’t have Arnold, would have to build him.”

Although Lee Horsely is a fine actor, he no Conan. Likewise, James Earl Jones along with the actors portraying Rexor and Thorgrim certainly overmatch Richard Moll and Richard Lynch (though Lynch was always excellent at playing the villain).

Gary Goes to Hollywood

“There has been considerable debate as to the wisdom we have displayed in electing to take a slow but certain course with the production of a DUNGEONS & DRAGONS® movie. I believe that our resolve to maintain as much control over the D&D® movie as humanly possible on its own with heroic fantasy. Our film is scheduled for release quality of Star Wars and Raiders of the Lost Ark, I will not only blast it in a review similar to this one, but I will apologize to you as well. Meanwhile, don’t be turned off by what you see on the screen these days. Give us a chance to prove that the genre can be good!” — E. Gary Gygax, Hollywood Dreamer

In 1982, Gary Gygax headed to Hollywood and set up Dungeons & Dragons Entertainment Corp. By 1983, he took up residence in King Vidor’s mansion (1636 Summitridge Drive, Beverly Hills, CA 90210). There are two small pictures in Art & Arcana: A Visual History: one of the interior and one of the poolside. Besides entertaining ladies in his hot tub, Gary found time to set up a sand table and play CHAINMAIL (not Swords & Spells). Don’t tell Rob Kuntz. (Cf. Paul La Farge, Destroy All Monsters, The Believer, September 1, 2006, available at https://www.thebeliever.net/destroy-all-monsters/)

Jon Peterson attributes another quote to Gary that expresses the same ambition hubris. “The script is a remarkable piece of work . . . one which could well lead to a film as successful as Star Wars or E.T. It will do a world of good for our hobby.”

Let’s just take a look at the expectations that Gary was setting by looking at the Rotten Tomatoes ranking (based on feedback from the general public including True Trolls).

Both Star Wars and Raiders of the Lost Ark are neck and neck at 96% approval with E.T. trailing far behind at 72%. Incidentally, Conan the Barbarian now clocks in higher than E.T. at 74% which I find just incredible given my own experience of going to see E.T. three times during the initial theatrical release. Theaters were packed for weeks on end with that movie. The Sword and the Sorcerer is the lowest of the bunch at 45%.

Two scripts were created for a movie treatment of Dungeons & Dragons. The first script was produced by Academy Award winning screenwriter James Goldman allegedly at a cost of $500,000. Jon Peterson has his hands on a copy (Cf. Jon Peterson, Inside the Lost 1980s Dungeons & Dragons Movie Gary Gygax Loved, The Escapist, September 10, 2015, available at https://www.escapistmagazine.com/inside-the-lost-1980s-dungeons-dragons-movie-gary-gygax-loved/ also see https://dmmagazine.blogspot.com/2016/01/jon-peterson-reveals-script-for.html). Peterson’s outline of the plot leaves me cold. It is more of a high fantasy dream, than something anchored in a realistic, mud-core campaign setting.

Per Gary’s posts on Dragonsfoot in 2006, the Blums did not approve of the first script. A Hollywood producer encouraged Gary to write his own version using Goldman’s material. Gary teamed up with Flint Dille. What they co-wrote got circulated to Orson Wells and Edgar Gross (executive producer for Excalibur). But this is as far as it got. As late as 2006, Gary still believed this script was good enough to get the nod. Flint Dille wrote a memoir entitled The Gamesmaster: My Life in the ’80s Geek Culture Trenches. If any of you have read it, please let me know in the comments if there is anything about his collaboration with Gygax.

Even if Gary was not out of his mind about the scripts he had been shopping around, I think it is highly doubtful that Hollywood could have created something that was both true to the spirit of [Advanced] Dungeons & Dragons and still achieved box office success. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom hit 82% on the Popcornmeter though, so I guess anything is possible. Temple of Doom had many elements from D&D including magical treasure, a charm spell, a secret door, a deadly trap, and plenty of situations that seemed were inspired by — and inspired — dungeon crawls that I participated in in the 1980s.

Hollywood Gets It Wrong

Tragically, when TSR finally did manage to get something on the big screen, the results truly did stand out: 20% on the Popcornmeter. For those of you who want the 411 on WTF happened here, there is (as always) a YouTube video that explains it.

Music

I will say that David Whitaker’s soundtrack for The Sword and the Sorcerer is ok, but not very memorable. It’s got some elements that sound like James Horner’s work. But it is definitely more of a throwback to classic 1950s and 1960s theme music for medieval, dark ages, and fantasy movies.

Basil Poledouris’ soundtrack for Conan the Barbarian, however, has a mythic quality that sticks with you. And, for every midterm and final exam during my freshman year of college, the Conan soundtrack was my study music. You won’t find people doing cool and new riffs on Whitaker’s soundtrack, but for Conan there is always some new recording to check out.

Post Script

Rest in Peace Richard Moll. You gave us a lot of laughs and poignant moments on Night Court.

Originally published on Substack on May 23, 2026.